A Poem I've Written

Category: Writers Block

Post 1 by Jasmin (Account disabled) on Sunday, 02-Sep-2007 18:28:12

Hey all,
I dunno if I wrote this write since I wrote it a long time ago, but I figured I'd share it anyway. It's kind of sad, but I'm going to put a happy one on here to, so here goes.
Missing you

I feel so lonely
And out of place
I feel so trapped
And lost in space
I feel like I’ve been split in two
My other half is gone
And that other half is you
I’m being attacked
By all the pain in my heart
Because I hate being
So far apart
I look around the room
Trying to think
But all I can do is think of you
And my spirits start to sink
I feel like I’ve lost everything
And nothing will seem right
Until you can hold and comfort me
On cold and lonely nights
I wish I could hold you
and never ever leave
I would be so happy
Because your love is all I need
The warmth of your smile
The touch of your lips
I reach out and I can almost touch you
Through my cold fingertips
How close we were
How wonderful it seemed
But now I have nothing
Except memories
Even though my heart is aching
I know that this is true
That I feel nothing
But love for only you
I want to be with you so badly
But I don’t know when
Until that happens
I don’t think I’ll be happy again
I hope that time will go by quickly
And that my wish will come true
That I can somehow
Be closer to you
I know my journey
down the road of love is long
But as long as I have you
I can be strong
If there is one thing in life
That I am thankful for
It’s having you in it
And I could never ask for more

Let me know what you think.
Jasmin

Post 2 by YankeeFanForLife! (Picapiedra: king of the boards!) on Tuesday, 04-Sep-2007 0:39:42

hmmm,

Post 3 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Tuesday, 04-Sep-2007 8:46:32

Sounds like a song, pretty good.

It would probably read better if you included punctuation.

Bob

Post 4 by ~*Dark_Light*~ (I just keep on posting!) on Wednesday, 05-Sep-2007 0:38:52

In particular I like the lines:

"I know my journey
down the road of love is long"


Beautifully written,
with understanding conveyed.
Good job

~*Thunderous MidNight*~

Post 5 by Miss Gorgeous (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Thursday, 27-Sep-2007 14:27:11

Hey, your poem was really sad, but I can really tell that you wrote while you were feeling it. It's really nice. You wrote your poem like a story that hasn't yet ended. Is there a continuation to this one, or is this the end of it? Anyway, your poem was filled with loneliness, but honest. lol hope you post a happy poem some time. Nice job on the writing keep it up.